Diana DeGroot, our Vice President of International Adoption, is a licensed social worker as well as an adoptive, biological and step-mom. Allie (18) and Chase (15) joined her family in 2011 and 2012 as waiting children from China. We asked Diana what she would want to share with those considering adoption. She shared the following:
People often tell me how lucky my adopted child is and I know they mean well. It’s usually their way of saying they see love, stability, and joy in our family. But the truth is far more complicated.
No child is “lucky” to experience abandonment, loss, or the trauma of being orphaned.
No child chooses that. No child wishes for their first story to begin with grief. So when someone says they’re lucky, I sometimes wish they understood the full picture: adoption starts where something painful has already happened.
What is true, and what still surprises me, is how deeply we, as parents, feel lucky. Lucky that we get to be the safe place. Lucky that we get to help rewrite the story. Lucky that we get to walk beside a child who has already survived more than most adults ever will, and still finds ways to laugh, play, trust, and love.
And yes, it’s not always rainbows and unicorns. Adoption brings layers of questions, challenges, identity exploration, and emotional complexity. But facing those things together doesn’t weaken the bond. It strengthens it. The hard moments deepen the love in ways I never could have imagined. They make the connection more intentional, more resilient, more earned.
Being an adoptive parent is the most meaningful thing I’ve ever done.
It shapes everything. It shapes how I see the world, how I show up as a parent, and even how the people around us grow and evolve. The journey may not always be simple, but it is profoundly beautiful.
So when people say my child is lucky, if I don’t feel like wearing my social worker hat that day, I will just smile. The real truth is that we are the lucky ones. We get to be their family. We get to witness their strength, their humor, their healing, their becoming. We’re the ones who hit the jackpot.