What does adoption look like through the eyes of an adult adoptee? We asked Leta White, our Program Assistant – International, who was adopted from Korea and we’re grateful and honored to share her honest and thoughtful reflections.
We are all individuals, not a single, uniform group. Viewing us simply as “adoptees” in broader conversations can be limiting, as it overlooks the richness and diversity of our individual experiences. Each of us is shaped by our own unique journeys, perspectives, and emotions. Reducing us to a single category could risk overlooking who we truly are as whole people—with our own thoughts, feelings, and dreams.
Returning to Korea for the first time was life-changing—a journey I didn’t realize I needed or even wanted.
Before going, I carried a deep sense of anger toward a country that had sent us away, and I had no desire to visit. That began to shift one summer while I was working at Holt International’s adoptee camp. I met several adoptees who spoke about how meaningful—and even joyful—their trips back to China had been. In that moment, I decided I would be open to returning to Korea at least once in my life—to better understand where I came from and to explore that part of my identity.
That opportunity came in 2012, when I participated in a four-month program for adoptees and second-generation Korean Americans. During the program, we explored Korean culture, food, and the basics of the language. There were 14 participants from the U.S. and Europe, and each of us was paired with a Korean host and tutor, making the experience deeply personal and immersive.
While in Korea, I formed close friendships with several participants that have lasted for over a decade. These bonds have endured across time and distance, spanning the U.S. and Denmark. We continue to nurture these connections with a mini reunion each year, and every other year we return to Korea together—revisiting not just a place, but a shared journey that continues to shape us.
Make a genuine effort to provide opportunities for your children to connect with their birth culture, but do not force their participation. Exposure should be available, not imposed. Whether it’s attending adoptee events or camps, learning the language, or engaging with cultural traditions, these should remain options they can choose on their own terms.
Understand that as an adoptee we all have that common bond with one another but as individuals we aren’t going to necessarily become friends with every single adoptee we meet throughout our lives.
Some adoptees feel a strong pull to embrace their birth country and immerse themselves in its culture, while others may choose to distance themselves from that part of their identity. Similarly, some may pursue a birth family search, while others may not. All of these decisions are valid and deserve to be respected. Feelings can shift and evolve as we navigate different milestones in life—and that is perfectly okay. We are not defined by a single experience, but by a collection of experiences that together shape our journey of self-identity as interracial adoptees.
Family extends beyond bloodlines. It includes your adoptive family and can grow to embrace friends who become just as meaningful, offering support, understanding, and a true sense of belonging.