Meryah McGill, MSW, LCSW, is a Lead Caseworker – International. She is also a birth mother and now raising three amazing boys. We asked Meryah if she would share a bit about her adoption story and her experience as a birth mother.

“My adoption story is one that I am very willing to discuss, but historically have not shared unless I was comfortable with who I was speaking with and/or a conversation comfortably led to me sharing. Thinking about this, I realize how ironic that sounds. Let’s face it, ‘comfortable’ is not a term that would readily be used to describe adoption.

When I was 16 years old, I was set to graduate high school early and had already started college. As many teenagers, I had it all figured out – until I didn’t. I became unexpectedly pregnant. I was terrified and strongly felt that I was not in a position to provide a child with the life he deserved. I researched open adoption, as I couldn’t imagine giving birth to my child and then not having information afterwards. I discussed it with my parents, who offered positive support for my decision.

My family and I met my first son’s adoptive family before he was born, spending enough time together that they already felt like family. Parting with my son was still heartbreaking, though I had this very solid reassurance within myself that I was making the best choice for my child. Not long after, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant again and deeply disappointed in myself. I told my first son’s parents, and they lovingly said they’d support any decision I made, but hoped I’d consider them if I chose adoption (which they had not wanted to consider with a different birthmother). Their words felt like an answered prayer. We stayed close, and although I confidently felt that I was making the right choice for my son, another piece of me left when he went home with his parents.

My oldest two sons are now young adults. We have always had a relationship and our families maintain connection much as extended family members do. I am now raising three boys with my husband and it has been a blessing to be able to have all five brothers maintain a connection with each other. We know that there can never be too many people in a child’s life who love and support them.

Though no adoption story is identical, I am acutely aware of the value in relationship, information, and love. My oldest boys and their parents have been able to reach out and ask questions and receive answers readily. My family and I have always been able to keep updated on how the boys are doing and their current activities/interests. It is invaluable to have heard from my oldest boys’ parents of what their adoption journey was like leading up to meeting me, as well as being able to work together and talk through things that occur with the boys.”

Not all adoptions have the option of readily available information, and I recognize how difficult that is both in the present and as a child grows up. I recognize the struggles that often lead birth parents, adoptive parents, and children to the path of adoption. I am very aware that the very root of an adoption story often involves trauma, heartache, and pain. What a beautiful blessing it is to take something rooted in those things and shape it into something full of hope, joy, resilience, and love. I am so grateful to play a role, no matter how small, in these journeys with our families.