---
title: "Trauma Parenting (Level: Expert)"
description: Parenting these days comes with a free side of comparison. And if you’re parenting a kiddo with a history of trauma, the comparison trap hits extra hard.
image: https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/hubfs/Gladney%20University/Lindsay%20Garrett%20Headshot.jpeg
---

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# Gladney Blog

# Trauma Parenting (Level: Expert)

Posted by [Lindsay Garrett, LCSW-S](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/author/lindsay-garrett-lcsw-s) on 6/28/21, 8:00 AM

![](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/hubfs/Lindsay%20Garrett-15.jpg)

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Parenting these days comes with a free side of comparison. We can’t help it. Maybe in our parent’s time they compared us with the other kids in our class, or in our neighborhood. But in the age of social media, we are comparing with *every other person we see on the internet*. Looking at all those highlight reels, its easy to think we aren’t doing well. That other people have their lives together while ours is falling apart. And if you’re parenting a kiddo with a history of trauma, the trap of comparison can hit extra hard.

You see, this is a special type of parenting. I often tell the parents I work with they are at “parenting level: expert”. They didn’t start with a helpless newborn they just had to feed and cuddle and soothe. They started with a three-year-old, six-year-old, ten-year-old, or fifteen-year-old who lived a whole life before they met them. Who experienced an entire history of family and loss and hurts and struggles that they will never know the full story of. Yes, they must feed and cuddle and soothe…assuming their child feels safe enough to let them. But they also must navigate getting their child services at school while battling together their shame in being behind. Or learning all the complicated names of the medications their child comes with and the journey of exploring whether they really need them or not alongside a maze that is the mental health care system. They have to teach basic life skills like brushing teeth and using silverware, how to play, how to socialize with other children. And they have to start this ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

When parents of kids with trauma compare themselves to families whose kiddos don’t have that same history, it’s so easy to feel like they are failing. And here is where the magic that is [Robyn Gobbel’s Club program](https://robyngobbel.com/theclub/) really happens. You see, The Club is just for parents of kids with trauma. The parents who are navigating everything I listed above and more. It’s a place to get education and new tools, yes. But more than that, it’s a place to be *seen*. You might be the only parent you know navigating the tricky world of birth parent relationships with your child. Or sitting in major meltdowns with them. Or finding food wrappers all over your house still two years after placement. Or getting hugs and kisses rejected because they feel just too vulnerable for your child. Its easy to feel alone. But in the Club? You aren’t alone. You’re surrounded by parents who are going through the same things you are, and professionals who are committed to compassionately supporting parents just like you. Sometimes the internet creates something fantastic. And this is one of those times.

---

Gladney believes in [The Club](https://robyngobbel.com/theclub/\)) so much, we asked Robyn if we could have a special discount for Gladney families, and she graciously agreed! *The Club will be only $35 a month for Gladney families.*

📩[Email](mailto:Lindsay.garrett@gladney.org)📨 to receive your coupon code. To learn more about The Club and sign up for the waitlist to be notified of registration, visit [The Club](https://robyngobbel.com/theclub/). Registration opens again on June 28th!

 Topics: [Trauma](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/trauma), [Post Adoption Support](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/post-adoption-support)

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