---
title: What I Have Learned from Birth Mothers
description: '... they did the second most selfless thing a person could do in their life, second only to laying down own's life for someone else.' Read more from Kris.
image: https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/hubfs/Development/Screen%20Shot%202020-11-18%20at%202-07-50%20PM.png
---

[![Gladney Center for Adoption](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/hubfs/Adoptionsbygladney_November2017/Images/gladney-logo.svg "Gladney Center for Adoption")](http://adoptionsbygladney.com)

- [I'm Pregnant](https://gladneyadoption.com)
- [I Want To Adopt](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/i-want-to-adopt)
- [Post Adoption Support](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/post-adoption-support)
- [About](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/about)
- [Resources](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/resources)
- [Contact](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/contact)

- [I'm Pregnant](https://gladneyadoption.com)
- [I Want To Adopt](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/i-want-to-adopt)
- [Post Adoption Support](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/post-adoption-support)
- [About](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/about)
- [Resources](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/resources)
- [Contact](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/contact)

# Gladney Blog

# What I Have Learned from Birth Mothers

Posted by [Gladney Center for Adoption](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/author/gladney-center-for-adoption) on 11/19/20, 9:15 AM

![](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/hubfs/Gladney-Logo_MarkOnly-bio%20photo.png)

Find me on:

[Facebook](http://facebook.com/gladneycenter) [LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/company/gladney-center-for-adoption/) [Twitter](http://twitter.com/gladney_center)

- [Tweet](https://twitter.com/share)

Going into the adoption process, I knew very little about how the process worked. One such area was with respect to birth mothers, who I now know are selfless, courageous, and steadfast women. Simply put, I unfairly assumed a birth mother must be an unfit mother, without ever even having met one myself. It was wrong of me to do so, and I would be proven wrong with all three of our daughters’ birth mothers.

![What I Have Learned from Birth Mothers](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Development/Screen%20Shot%202020-11-18%20at%202.07.50%20PM.png?width=728&name=Screen%20Shot%202020-11-18%20at%202.07.50%20PM.png)I now know birth mothers choose adoption for a whole host of reasons, based on their personal circumstances, upbringing, faith, and selflessness. They also come from all walks of life—age, socio-economic status, ethnicity, level of education, marital status, etc. During our adoption orientation for our oldest daughter Emeline, we learned the average age of an expectant mother making an adoption plan in Gladney’s program was 26 years old, which was certainly older than I had assumed.

I want to share with you a little detail of our daughters' birth mothers’ stories, while preserving confidentiality and respecting the birth mothers' privacy. Please note: the information below is known to our daughters already, a result of our choosing to have an open adoption and to speak honestly with our daughters about their history.

Our oldest daughter Emeline’s birth mother was 20 years old and was a high school graduate. Her birth father was not interested in being involved, so Emeline’s birth mother decided to place her for adoption, primarily because she wanted to provide her with a loving upbringing in a two-parent home. Our middle daughter Giselle’s birth mother was 26 years old, had a successful career, owned her own home, had financial and family resources, and was parenting a toddler already. However, due to relationship circumstances, she decided to place Giselle for adoption, based on what she wanted for her upbringing. Our youngest daughter Josephine is of 100% Chinese ancestry and was conceived in China. Before knowing she was pregnant, Josephine’s birth mother, who was 17, moved to the U.S. to live with her mother. Without large family help in the U.S. and based on her young age, Josephine’s birth mother, along with her birth grandmother, decided adoption was the best option for her.

I share this with you because I've heard from people that haven't experienced adoption, “Birth mothers must be SELFISH to have ‘given’ their child up for adoption. How could a woman who conceived and carried her baby to birth simply ‘give’ her baby away?” I see it the complete opposite—that these women are incredibly SELFLESS. Under incredible stress, fear, and pain to their own bodies, they intentionally and steadfastly make arguably one of the hardest decisions of their lives. They do so, not because of what's easy for them, but because of what they think is best for their children. I admire and respect these women beyond any words I can share.

One of the common themes from all three of our daughters’ birth mothers is that their decision to place their child for adoption was driven by what they wanted for their unborn child, not what they wanted for themselves. They made their decisions with the child first and foremost in mind and with their own fears and discomforts a distant second in mind. They were selfless—and I would say they did the second most selfless thing a person could do in their life, second only to laying down own's life for someone else.

***Kris, Gladney Dad***

 Topics: [Adoption](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption), [Adoption Stories](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption-stories), [Birth Mother](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/birth-mother)

Adoption Programs:

- [Domestic Infant Adoption](http://adoptionsbygladney.com/i-want-to-adopt/domestic-infant)
- [Foster Adoption (New Beginnings Program)](http://adoptionsbygladney.com/i-want-to-adopt/foster-adoption)
- [International Adoption](http://adoptionsbygladney.com/i-want-to-adopt/international)

### Subscribe to Email Updates

### Recent Posts

### Posts by Topic

- [Superkids (824)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/superkids)
- [Taiwan Adoption (347)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/taiwan-adoption)
- [Waiting Child (340)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/waiting-child)
- [China Adoption (226)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/china-adoption)
- [Waiting Children (225)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/waiting-children)
- [Uncategorized (224)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/uncategorized)
- [Adoption Stories (211)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption-stories)
- [Gladney Adoptee (182)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-adoptee)
- [Bright Futures Publication (177)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/bright-futures-publication)
- [Gladney Graduate (176)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-graduate)
- [China (142)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/china)
- [Taiwan (120)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/taiwan)
- [International Adoption (85)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/international-adoption)
- [Intercountry Adoption (36)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/intercountry-adoption)
- [Support (28)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/support)
- [Gladney Leadership (27)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-leadership)
- [Advocacy (23)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/advocacy)
- [Adoption (22)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption)
- [Gladney University (22)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-university)
- [Adoption Finance (20)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption-finance)
- [Gladney Intern Blog (20)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-intern-blog)
- [A Day in the Life of a Gladney Intern (17)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-gladney-intern)
- ["Ambassadors of Love" (16)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/ambassadors-of-love)
- [reFRAMED Podcast (16)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/reframed-podcast)
- [China & Taiwan Newsletter (15)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/china-taiwan-newsletter)
- [Insider (15)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/insider)
- [Domestic Infant (14)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/domestic-infant)
- [Counseling Services (13)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/counseling-services)
- [Development (13)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/development)
- [Foster Adoption (13)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/foster-adoption)
- [Gladney Culture & History (13)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-culture-history)
- [Legislative (13)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/legislative)
- [New York Marathon (13)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/new-york-marathon)
- [Suggested Reading (13)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/suggested-reading)
- [130th Anniversary (12)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/130th-anniversary)
- [Adoption Advice (12)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption-advice)
- [Colombia Adoption (12)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/colombia-adoption)
- [DS Grant (12)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/ds-grant)
- [Foster Care System (11)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/foster-care-system)
- [Testimonials (11)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/testimonials)
- [Education (10)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/education)
- [Gladney Home (10)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-home)
- [New Beginnings (10)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/new-beginnings)
- [Advocacy Camp (9)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/advocacy-camp)
- [Featured (9)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/featured)
- [Gladney Event (9)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-event)
- [Mindful Parenting (9)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/mindful-parenting)
- [National Adoption Month (9)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/national-adoption-month)
- [Special Needs (9)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/special-needs)
- [Texas Foster Children (9)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/texas-foster-children)
- [Volunteer Opportunity (9)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/volunteer-opportunity)
- [matched (9)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/matched)
- [AdoptED (7)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adopted)
- [Post Adoption Support (7)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/post-adoption-support)
- [Social Distancing (7)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/social-distancing)
- [Adoption Advocate (6)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption-advocate)
- [Community Partner (6)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/community-partner)
- [Community Support (6)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/community-support)
- [Down Syndrome (6)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/down-syndrome)
- [Hosting International Children (6)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/hosting-international-children)
- [#iamgladney (5)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/iamgladney)
- [Gladney Birth Parent (5)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-birth-parent)
- [Gladney Family Association (5)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-family-association)
- [Holiday (5)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/holiday)
- [Siblings (5)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/siblings)
- [Transracial Adoption (5)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/transracial-adoption)
- [Unplanned Pregnancy (5)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/unplanned-pregnancy)
- [family story (5)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/family-story)
- [#wearegladney (4)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/wearegladney)
- [Adoption Education Program (4)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption-education-program)
- [Clinical Support (4)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/clinical-support)
- [FSL Project (4)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/fsl-project)
- [Older Child Adoption (4)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/older-child-adoption)
- [Post Adoption (4)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/post-adoption)
- [Press Release (4)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/press-release)
- [#NAM2017 (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/nam2017)
- [#NationAdoptionMonth (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/nationadoptionmonth)
- [#allIwantforChristmas (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/alliwantforchristmas)
- [Adult Adoptee (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adult-adoptee)
- [Annual Report (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/annual-report)
- [Birthday Pledge (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/birthday-pledge)
- [Brain Development (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/brain-development)
- [Edna Gladney (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/edna-gladney)
- [Faces of Gladney (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/faces-of-gladney)
- [Gladney Friend (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-friend)
- [Grief & Loss (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/grief-loss)
- [Holiday Card (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/holiday-card)
- [Mark Melson (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/mark-melson)
- [Parenting (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/parenting)
- [Team Gladney (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/team-gladney)
- [Tips (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/tips)
- [Tools & Resources (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/tools-resources)
- [Trauma (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/trauma)
- [Wordless Wednesday (3)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/wordless-wednesday)
- [#makingadifferencetogether (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/makingadifferencetogether)
- [Adoption Finalization (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption-finalization)
- [Adoption Fundraiser (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption-fundraiser)
- [Adoption Services (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption-services)
- [Artwork Contest (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/artwork-contest)
- [Attachment (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/attachment)
- [Camp Forge (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/camp-forge)
- [Child Abuse Prevention (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/child-abuse-prevention)
- [Culture & History (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/culture-history)
- [Diversity Resources (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/diversity-resources)
- [Ecuador Adoption (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/ecuador-adoption)
- [FAQ (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/faq)
- [Hong Kong Adoption (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/hong-kong-adoption)
- [Hosting Program (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/hosting-program)
- [Lunar New Year (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/lunar-new-year)
- [Open Adoption (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/open-adoption)
- [Pathways Training (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/pathways-training)
- [Success Stories (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/success-stories)
- [Travel to China (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/travel-to-china)
- [picture post (2)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/picture-post)
- [#DSAM2017 (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/dsam2017)
- [#SKTaiwanNov17 (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/sktaiwannov17)
- [Adoptee (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoptee)
- [Adoption Agency Reviews (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption-agency-reviews)
- [Adoption Education (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoption-education)
- [Adoptive Parent (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/adoptive-parent)
- [Aging Out (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/aging-out)
- [Ask A Pro (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/ask-a-pro)
- [Birth Mother (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/birth-mother)
- [Birth Mother Support (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/birth-mother-support)
- [Birth Mother's Day (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/birth-mothers-day)
- [Coloring Sheets (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/coloring-sheets)
- [Dominican Republic Adoption (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/dominican-republic-adoption)
- [Donations (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/donations)
- [Expectant Parent (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/expectant-parent)
- [FSL Grant (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/fsl-grant)
- [Father's Day (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/fathers-day)
- [Gladney Adoption Day (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-adoption-day)
- [Gladney Adoptive Parent (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-adoptive-parent)
- [Gladney Campus (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-campus)
- [Gladney Family Mentorship (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-family-mentorship)
- [Gladney Impact (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-impact)
- [Gladney Night At Six Flags (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/gladney-night-at-six-flags)
- [Humanitarian Aid (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/humanitarian-aid)
- [Mother's Day (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/mothers-day)
- [NB Info Sessions (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/nb-info-sessions)
- [Next Steps Program (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/next-steps-program)
- [Podcast (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/podcast)
- [Russia Adoption (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/russia-adoption)
- [Sensory Integration (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/sensory-integration)
- [Summertime Series (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/summertime-series)
- [Teenager Brain (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/teenager-brain)
- [Thailand Adoption (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/thailand-adoption)
- [Transitional Care (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/transitional-care)
- [Ukraine Adoption (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/ukraine-adoption)
- [Webinars (1)](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/tag/webinars)

see all

##### Other links

- [I'm Pregnant](http://pregnancyhotline.org)
- [I Am Gladney](https://iamgladney.org/)
- [Adopt*Ed*](http://adoption-education.com)
- [Gladney University](https://iamgladney.org/gladneyuniversity)

- [Like Us On Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/gladneycenter)
- [Follow Us On Twitter](https://twitter.com/gladney_center)
- [Join Us On Google+](https://plus.google.com/+GladneyOrg)
- [Follow Us On Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/gladneycenter/)
- [See Us On YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/user/gladneycenter)
- [Follow Us On Pinterest](https://www.pinterest.com/gladneycenter/pins/)
- [Join Us On LinkedIn](https://www.linkedin.com/company/359887/)

##### [Upcoming Events](https://iamgladney.org/all-upcoming-events)

### Gladney Blog

### Stay Connected with Us

[![Childrens Home Society Of America Logo](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/hubfs/Adoptionsbygladney_November2017/Images/childrens-home-society-of-america.png)](http://www.chsamerica.org) [![National Council For Adoption Logo](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/hubfs/Adoptionsbygladney_November2017/Images/national-council-for-adoption.png)](https://www.adoptioncouncil.org) [![Texas Alliance of Child & Family Services Logo](https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/hubfs/Adoptionsbygladney_November2017/Images/tacfs.png)![IAAME-logo](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/uploads/IAAME-logo.png)![Guide-Star-2019-Logo\_recolored\_52](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/uploads/Guide-Star-2019-Logo_recolored_52.png) ![recolored-logo\_52\_EIG](https://adoptionsbygladney.com/uploads/recolored-logo_52_EIG.png)](https://analytics.excellenceingiving.com/overview/gladney-center-for-adoption/)

 

```json
{
  "@context" : "https://schema.org",
  "@type" : "BlogPosting",
  "author" : {
    "@type" : "Person",
    "name" : "Gladney Center for Adoption",
    "url" : "https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/author/gladney-center-for-adoption"
  },
  "dateModified" : "2020-11-19T15:15:00.621Z",
  "datePublished" : "2020-11-19T15:15:00.000Z",
  "headline" : "What I Have Learned from Birth Mothers",
  "image" : [ "https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/hubfs/Development/Screen%20Shot%202020-11-18%20at%202-07-50%20PM.png" ],
  "mainEntityOfPage" : {
    "@id" : "https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/what-i-have-learned-from-birth-mothers",
    "@type" : "WebPage"
  },
  "publisher" : {
    "@type" : "Organization",
    "logo" : {
      "@type" : "ImageObject",
      "url" : "https://blog.adoptionsbygladney.com/hubfs/Logos/Gladney-Logo_Stacked-2Color-Navy_CMYK.png"
    },
    "name" : "Gladney Center for Adoption"
  }
}
```